1. I am sensitive with the people that revolves around me. I don’t want them to think wrong of me. I don’t want to become a burden. I cry easily. I am easily offended when the people close to me criticize me.

2. I am insensitive with my sorroundings. I don’t pay attention to things around me. thus I am not good in directions. and I am clueless when it comes to general knowledge.

3. I am clumsy. My reflexes are not good. My senses are not oriented enough to prevent blunders. Luck is not in my side.

4. I am not physically fit. I can’t lift heavy objects. I can’t run fast. My body aches the next day after some stretching and exercise.

5. I am lazy when it comes to eating. I only eat when I am hungry.

6. Wrong study habits. I tend to memorize the procedure how the problem works and rely on the sample exams. Understanding things does not fulfill me. I am naturally not thirsty for knowledge but am trying to.

7. The only person I can fight with is him. that’s wrong.

8. Others first before Me. I don’t want that, but it happens..

9. I envy people and thinks selfishly sometimes. I brag too.

10. I lack talent. I don’t play musical instruments. I don’t sing nor dance. But I can make animated characters. 

The reason I wrote this is to set clearly who I am now and who I should be in the future. I really want to change. Sometimes I feel hopeless because I was born this way. It has been 20 years since and nothing has changed. This is my lifestyle and I have to step up and say that I can control my decisions. I have to go for what’s best for me. I have always searched for recognition, appreciation and friendship but wanting so made me the loser that I am today. I don’t want to get depressed because of the truth but I think of it as a challenge for me to become stronger and wiser. Less than 2 years left before I enter the Real World it’s time for the transition. It’s time for change.

*Obama won…

at this moment, I am shifting away from my comfort zone to a place where it is now the real thing. I am simply stating that I am an Engineering student and Engineers do more than computations, they look for answers. My 3 years of college were easier than i expected it to be. I am not proud of what I have done up to this point except that I am very lucky to have enlisted to considerate professors.  Somehow all practical exams that intended to challenge engineering instinct skipped me. So basically, to stay alive in my course is to study concepts and concepts alone. But now, a different challenge is in front of me, something that I couldn’t face with only a pen and paper. This is the Mini Project I have expected to encounter ever since I’ve stepped in the University. I am excited and scared of how I will perform but as I have said this is the one big step that I have been waiting for to fully prove that I am suit for my course.

Our mini-project would be a turbidity meter with LCD,GSM,MMC interface.Turbidity meter measures the cloudiness or amount of particles dissolved in water. The device will involve measuring the amount of light that passed through the volume of water. The instensity of light would be inversely proportional to the Turbidity. This project would be beneficial and marketable since commercialized turbidity meters reach thousand of dollars (i think).

Here’s the link of the past thesis regarding our project.

I will be focusing on the GSM part where there is programming to do. Ideally, the recorded values will be sent to the Owner via SMS. But other options may be considered like Calling the owner with recorded voice message (cool huh?). What’s bothering me is the GSM module available would cost 3000 pesos which I think will not accompany the budget that was given to us.  In addition, the manual for the gsm module is almost 300 pages.

As of now, I don’t know anything.

more power to me. ^_^

I was searching for a light romantic anime series and School Days, from the title, looked to be the best suspect for it… But boy was I completely wrong!!! Two words: crazy and perverted. I thought that it would only rotate to a love triangle like the normal chick flicks that teenage girls completely love but it is far more than the regular story (no wonder some anime reviewes put horror to the genre). If you haven’t watched this yet don’t continue to read this since I can’t make a review without spilling an idea about the ending.

Anyway, the first episodes was what I expected it to be, it was the usual ‘girl1 like boy but boy like girl2, girl1 helps boy making girl2 like boy then boy1 change his mind and likes girl1 so boy cheats on girl2′ story. But what i percieved transpired fast (only 4/12 episodes i think) and the aggressiveness (of the scenes and the guy) bothered me thats when I realized that there is something more to this. The episode of the school festival was the eventual turning point from the acceptable to the super crazy storyline!!! **This I can’t spoil, it was too much to remember** It was so crazy you can’t stop from watching it up to the end. I can’t help to cover myself with a pillow screaming. It made me drive nuts that the last episode was the best way to end it (except girl2 in the boat– freak out!).  Personally, this series stressed me, if the writers made this to make this anime stick on you it was very effective. I can’t say if it will have same effect with men but as a girl, i don’t like being abused so my emotional stability reached its peak. IT IS EVERY GIRL’S  NIGHTMARE.  Before I watched, I wanted to relax but here i am now still in a transe… I am innocent after all.  I have no comment whether people should consider watching this but if you want to try then go forth and good luck! I just hope reality doesn’t go along with the story. Psychologically, i now see majority of men as low  and can’t be trusted but I’m still believing that there are men that would consider loving someone more important than the you know what. That is every woman’s wish – to be cared and loved.

Other than that- drawing, sounds is ok.

This series definitely does not promote Female Domination. GRRR….

http://www.delfindjmontano.blogspot.com/

Here is an entry of one certain question regarding the blog from the take home sociology10 midterms

**The blog is simply another construction of reality through language. Even before it has happened, it has been obvious to me that those who have power take advantage of it in a form of corruption. It has always been like this to begin with. I myself, have concluded that heroism is not the case here in reality but to fight with the same weapons as “them”.  Everybody innately wants to protect their interest and maximize their benefits so those who have power will maintain their comfortable stand above all other people at all costs. I have been neutral when it comes to politics and corruption simply because i have accepted that corruption is already part of the Filipino society. Now, news on politics do not interest me at all. I do care on the name of being a Filipino, but i don’t act to fight it.  The only difference that caught my attention of the blog from all other negative filipino news is that a victim is from a different culture, a foreigner. In addition, he used the power of the internet, the widest source of information, to address his message about the dirt of some Filipinos. Although everybody felt that there is an abuse of power, only the australian blogger had the courage to introduce it through words and statements. No wonder everybody is intrigued and interested about the blog since it was about time someone the spilled the truth of the reality that is right there in front of us. For me there is no sense of realization since the trouble is still the same concept of greed but in a different setting. Human nature has its flaws, desire of material and power is one of it.  Although, i may think that a society could change if it starts with the individual it won’t start with me. I rather go forth my dreams on a good life and education caring least about our country.Besides, If i do change will everybody follow? obviously no. I might even be the one to be stepped on if lose my guard. Just as a saying goes: if you can’t beat them, join them.  THIS is the society that we are living in and the blog showed only a portion of it. Unconsciously we’re battling for our lives just like any fantasy game, survival of the fittest.

I’ve been busy the whole month.. i have fallen asleep with my notes scattered all over the bed often than before (meaning everyday!!!).. And I am again sleepy.. I now wake up 7:30am (instead of the supposedly regular 7am) to lineup my “timba” in the bathroom and sleep again-> miss breakfast and be late… wow, the impact of the month of january really hits hard! I have two lab reports due this week.. one exam this week,.. 2 exams, 1 design problem and a problem set for next week… yes.. more to come.. and.. I.. am.. still.. blogging!? what’s wrong with me? maybe i do need a little break every once in awhile (>_< overloaaadddd….). Speaking of break.. we did watch a movie just later ago.. wow.. i am a very busy person indeed.. haha.. i am still waiting for that “mood” (hopefully it comes..). Also, my mind is very disturbed whether i should continue to applying for two laboratories namely WCEL and IRC.. would it be a right choice? or would it lead to a trap? waaahh..

i still can’t figure out myself.. i don’t know what to do in my life.. Just exactly what someone said: I just like to study… move on in my life->have a family (period!). Yes, I do have dreams of being “someone” to a lot of people.. but.. maybe dreaming ain’t for me.. maybe i have to face reality and point out to myself that this is where you’ll ever be..  face the facts and live with it not bothering about being “someone” at all.

What’s my problem again?

I don’t know what i can do,

and

i’m scared on how much i can’t do

.. i don’t know my position.. will i ever be ready to take another step? or do i have to wait  for my path to clear first?

No, there is no time.. I have to gamble… and face the consequence..

NO REGRETS

happy birthday niki,rhiza,tal,aisa,cielo.. 

hi.. now i’m in a vengeance against myself for being a stubborn brat.. i concluded that i do have two persons in me.. like Jessica from heroes.. (still an addict..)

1st is my normal self: helpless, cry baby, nice, sweet, scared

2nd is my raging self: full of anger, bitterness, selfishness, revenge

why can’t i be somewhere in between? this is me,.. my extreme self.. i can be THIS good but i can be bad in just the same level.. is it not weird that i always describe myself just like that? am i not the best judge for myself? am i biased in some way? i don’t know,but right now, i’m conscious of it since i’ve hurt someone because of it, someone who doesn’t deserve any of it, or any of me…

i’m sorry.. but like i said, if it really doesn’t work we have to save ourselves from hurting each other before we don’t have anything left of us..

i’m scared to make a mistake..i’m scared to regret it.. i’m scared to lose you

chances are just chances if you won’t prove your worth for it.. you may not deserve me yesterday, now or even tomorrow,.. but this chance will… someday…

CHANGE. i have to..

Loser Duck

now.. i am again questioning being a eee student..  Bode plot, frequencies, signals what the hell are they?! I am studying with a big question mark in my head! I wish I could look into the future when i am now understanding everything here! again this question came to me: am i the only one disturbed by this sense of not getting everything there is to know? is my foundation weak? i only appreciate subjects .like eee33, eee41 ,that are actually  visible to me.. eee35, eee23, eee43 are just seemed to me as a joke! how.. how can i not be bothered knowing that this things i am studying about will forever be with me. will it be forever a question? will my life be forever  a lie? will i forever regret this?

today was depressing.. not only that i am bothered with a no-progress report about Magnetic Fields but i have reflected back to last year’s EEE 23 days which is a whole big LIE for me.. for one thing..I never understood what Electromagnetics was all about, wherein i relied it with my mathematical skills of integrating and the like, and took advantage of being familiar with questions that deep inside me feels have no sense at all (except help me pass the course!). I hate myself for this, don’t get this wrong, It is not only a drama on a specific subject but my academic lifestyle.. I only solve, I can’t put it into words, i am far from the mind of a physicist! Now i am having trouble in my future development in EEE: will my practice help me go up another level?, will this practice make me a good engineer?  I wonder if i am the only one having this dilemma: another sense of my identity crisis.. i better stop thinking and just change.. should I?

i am impatient in waiting to be affiliated in a laboratory, i have a lot to learn and i believe  being affiliated and exposing myself to the real world of an engineer will help me see the real score of what I really am for.. no exams but practical things.. i want to measure myself in that sense! Will I survive? I just have to wait for my opportunity and show everyone what else i am capable for(I hope I can.. )..