past erin’s problems (andami!):

1. pagkakaroon ng superiority complex at pagiging egocentric – kay alvs lang to nangyayari.. kaya yun.. hay ang sama ko this sem!  [hmmm]

2. ano ba talaga gusto ko sa buhay? housewife na marunong mag-circuit analysis? gusto ko maging professor, pero baka hindi ako maintindihan ng mga studyante ko, wahaha! [vision is becoming clearer through time.. stop worrying!]

3. magsusummer ba ako sa diliman or sa baguio? magph-physics104 ba ako next sem? [diliman 4ever]

4. anong laboratory ang aking aapply-an? dumaan na ang iml, dsp at mobot.. huhu.. gusto ko pa naman ng mobot. pero gusto ko rin try irc, pero ung puso ko nasa iml (yak ang corny!)  mga ate at kuya help naman oh..^_^

[IRC the best! you learn  and party a lot!]

5. paano ko ba gagawing long term memory  ung memory ko? ang bilis ko makalimoooott… [still a problem]

6. dapat maging aware ako sa sorroundings ko.. para hindi ako loser pagdating sa general info or loser sa mga bagong updates sa technology, music, blahblah, kaso nalilimutan ko rin lang na dapat nagbabago ako, pero self-conscious ako, pero hindi ko naman magawa ng tama khit gusto ko.. wah! identity crisis na to!

7. nafrufrustrate talaga ako kung tinatanungan ako or nagdidiscuss ng practical electronic stuff, most common ung computer stuff, it’s either nagkakaroon nalang ako ng false authority syndrome na kunwari alam ko un or nagtatantrum ako kc ngakakaroon na naman ako ng identity crisis! ano ang dapat gaweeen!!!!

8. gusto ko matuto sa photoshop at swish ng marami! kaso impatient ako… gusto ko may produkto kaagad! eh panget un!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

———————————————————————————————–

past erin’s checklist:

here i am once again in my dramatic mood… well first.. i don’t like lying in my bed and daydreaming of what i want to do in my life.. i want it to be real.. my hopes for a wonderful life is quite possible but the chances to do so is still nowhere to be found… so is it up to me make the move or should i be patient and hope for the best? i choose the latter part. so i decided to make this checklist to keep me remembering that erin’s got to be somewhere and do some things before she dies .. ahemm…

1. go to thailand and ride an elephant with my special someone (push-y!) and see with my own eyes that they do eat peanuts…
2. Be a fashion model, ramp through the stage.. =p
3. be seen in television.. but not because of criminal matters please!
4. have a studio pic with push-y! (bakit hanggang ngayon wala pa?!) —-CHECK
5. Disney land! i’ve already gone to enchanted kingdom so let’s try a different level of fun…
6. wet party.. it’s not easy to manage this sort of event considering that we are grown ups.. but hell i want more!
7. Imax.. preferably with a movie that will really make me appreciate it!
8. get a pic wearing a chinese attire.. i’m 3/8’s chinese.. i’ve got to do this!
9. serve alvin some odocs! if i have to do it with man power i will! (man power? wth?)
10. create a comic strip for a newspaper of some sort… =p
11. watch an NBA game..
12. have a business a card of my own (does this apply to engineers?, i think so…)
13. have a trophy..
14. see and get a pic with John Lloyd… (wooohoooo dream come true!)
15. sports climbing, ride a bike, rappel head below.. i consider myself as “lampa” but doing these will prove otherwise..
16. be a good model to some kid in which i have inspired him to do better..
17. Be a teacher and have the whole class to hate me… =P
18. Be a teacher and have the whole class to like me… =P
19. make a device that i can really call my own and not an innovation from the past (this i must say is difficult since at present it’s hard to make new discoveries since almost everything have been discovered already.. but i can’t blame newton or einstein for it..) — Not True…
20. surprise alvin with a banner and candles and a cake baked by myself only !!!(no help from others!)

that’s enough brainstorming for now… 20 is little compared to the years i still have.. but i want to assure myself that the life i’ve taken is the life that i really hoped for.. don’t get me wrong, i am contented with the friends, loved ones that i have.. that’s why i want to share a piece of my dreams with them… that’s when i’ll say that “i have lived life to the fullest..=)”

1/20 done! gosh.. x_x scrap 19… innovations is the way to go!

———————————————————————————————————————

here’s another one(reminiscing 1st yr):

hala naalala ko ngaun ung eee34 namin, naalala ko nanaman ang pagiging loser ko lalo na sa paggamit ng oscilloscope… tapos bukas makikita ko nanaman siya sa eee42… kakatrauma… patay.. lulusot pa kaya ako sa practicals ng eee42… huhuhu.. takot akuuuu… bakit kaya may mga taong daling dali makagets ng ganun, specially mga lalaki,, huhu.. ang loser ng feeling ko.. nung practicals nga ng eee34 dati wala pa ata akong nabuong square wave… wah, bilang isang eee student dapat gets ko un! pero karapat dapat ba ako dun? ewan… pressure…

I got to learn how to use the oscilloscope well past erin…. 5th yr na ako and will soon graduate!

——————————————————————————————————————

another one(frustrated sa kaaral… ):

deeply disturbed… very problematic.. seriously frustrated… o___0

and i thought coffee would help me.. but it didn’t.. in fact, the feeling was made worse… [boo coffee!]

i am deprived from sleep….

two questions linger in my mind.. first, when will this suffering end.. and second, will this pay-off? is it only me or the whole concept of studying really is tiring?

I want to do more than merely sitting on the table and flipping pages of books/notebooks…  will i benefit from all these? or will my efforts become useless in the end… Is this something i could be proud of in the end?

[yes it will, one sem left.. ]

as they always say…

time will tell, [time is what you actually needed.. ]

come what may,

——————————————————————————————————-

last one(ng bumagsak sa onse 3rd exam):

“I understand your frustration, but bear in mind that Engineering is really just Applied Math and Applied Physics, etc. That doesn’t mean that we take away the mathematics. Rather, it means we give meaning to tha abstract math. I hope you appreciate the importance of this one day. peace! =p”

– Sir Anwe

***sigh..

if i continue to think linear on how things are done, if i study just because i have to,

if what i’ve learned just come and go, if i don’t really know what is really going on in my course,

then taking up engineering might be a wrong idea after all… [completely not wrong.. i'm loving it!]

but i started it, and i want to  finish it.. i just have to change…

I should see how amazing my course is… I should challenge myself and expect the unexpected…

—————————————————————-

To past erin, you were really worrywart, innocent kid with no confidence..

INDEED WE LEARN..