today was depressing.. not only that i am bothered with a no-progress report about Magnetic Fields but i have reflected back to last year’s EEE 23 days which is a whole big LIE for me.. for one thing..I never understood what Electromagnetics was all about, wherein i relied it with my mathematical skills of integrating and the like, and took advantage of being familiar with questions that deep inside me feels have no sense at all (except help me pass the course!). I hate myself for this, don’t get this wrong, It is not only a drama on a specific subject but my academic lifestyle.. I only solve, I can’t put it into words, i am far from the mind of a physicist! Now i am having trouble in my future development in EEE: will my practice help me go up another level?, will this practice make me a good engineer?  I wonder if i am the only one having this dilemma: another sense of my identity crisis.. i better stop thinking and just change.. should I?

i am impatient in waiting to be affiliated in a laboratory, i have a lot to learn and i believe  being affiliated and exposing myself to the real world of an engineer will help me see the real score of what I really am for.. no exams but practical things.. i want to measure myself in that sense! Will I survive? I just have to wait for my opportunity and show everyone what else i am capable for(I hope I can.. )..